The reason for our quick trip to Israel was for my nephews’ wedding. A rather blurry image of him putting on the ritz.
A few years ago Meir met Sophia, he is a native Israeli living in Tel Aviv, she is an immigrant from Mexico. Since then he got a job in Barcelona and off they went, it was clear that the wedding would take place in Jerusalem.
With my mother and two brothers. The taller one, Yaacov is the father of the groom.
I have been to all kinds of weddings, this one took the cake for being out of the box. Not in creativity, but in the people involved. My brother’s family is modern Orthodox, Meir, the groom is secular. All we knew about Sophia is that her family moved en-mass from Mexico where they converted to Judaism.
Yaacov had commented to me how different Sophia’s family are, good simple people. I know, as a family we are intellectual snobs, it’s not about looking down at people who aren’t highly educated, he was simply stating a fact that this family is very different. Most of the Jews in Central and South America are refugees from Europe due to WWII. Actually Mexico has a large community of people rediscovering their Jewish roots, they fled Spain with the expulsion of 1492, unfortunately the Inquisition followed and many became Conversos- Catholics, who still held on to strange traditions like lighting candles on Friday night or not eating bread one week in the Spring.
Anyone who lives in the southwest is familiar with the many different types of people from Mexico or central America. When I hear someone is from Mexico City (where Sophia’s family originated) I visualize the Mexican who is a blend of the many cultures that settled there.
Sophia is gorgeous. I had met her before and she is lovely. When her family converted and moved to Israel – they too became very Orthodox, much more so than my brother. She like Meir is now secular. But one thing that caught me by surprise is the family as a whole.
I didn’t take many pictures at the wedding, all of the pictures are thanks to Joel pulling out his phone. I found this image online and I’m sharing it here, the two little girls in the bottom left are cousins of Sophia. In LA, this ‘type’ of Mexican is part of the landscape, these are not Conversos, these are native to Mexico, long before the Europeans arrive. How they learned about Judaism I don’t know, but there is now a large community in Cochav Yaacov in Israel. Israel is the most amazing country in the world, it really and truly is the most diverse nation outside of the US. Unlike the US, it is a tiny county. There is a pull for many people to become Jews and to move to Israel, on the settlement that this family lives there are immigrants from the US, Europe, Africa, India, South America. The one thing that unifies them is that they are Jews – either by birth or by choice.
As I mentioned, not a lot of photos, so I’ll share what I have which is mostly family. I’ll get back to the interesting story as well, since it didn’t stop, My nephew, his wife and sister, yes I have a very good looking family.
On the left my brother and sister in law with her sister and brother in law. Pay attention to the backdrop, this is the real deal, the wedding was overlooking the old City of Jerusalem, so those walls in the background aren’t some painted back drop. Of course the breathtaking setting added so much to the atmosphere.
I’m glad Joel handed me the phone so I could get a picture of him.
I can’t explain why these two are in most of the pictures. Sure handsome couple, but they aren’t the only ones.
All the cousins in one shot. I love how the groom and his brother (who is married but no kids yet) are holding the baby who belongs to the couple to their left. Yes, mom and dad can’t wait till you have one of your own!! (more than one really). One nephew couldn’t make it, he is still in the army and couldn’t get out to join in the festivities.
Great looking kids against a beautiful backdrop.
And then the wedding returned to surreal. As I mention, my brother is modern Orthodox, but because Sophia’s family is much stricter, there were some interesting things happening. First of all, the dress covering her from head to toe, the large opaque veil – that wasn’t her choice that was honoring her mother. Here she is walking down the aisle with her mother and grandfather. Unfortunately her father has passed away.
Traditional Chuppah. I just wish the photographer and videographer weren’t right in there, they blocked out view. So for the first time in almost 40 years, I am at a wedding where the couple is secular, and men and women are asked to sit separately. Not one family on either side, women on one, men on the other. I had to comment to the lesbian cousins that they lucked out, they could sit together.
The Rabbi was very interesting. These days the ministry of religion which is responsible for marriage, has become an awful, power grabbing, domineering entity. There is no civil marriage in Israel, but there is a concept of ‘known as married’, which is practically the same thing. Almost 40% of Israeli couples are going that route. This wouldn’t be the case here with this wedding. Enter Tzohar, a wonderful organization that is trying to return Judaism to the people and wrest it away from the Rabbinate that is creating so much antagonism to Judaism in the land of the Jews. So the Rabbi performed a lovely ceremony that I would have expected from a moderate religious wedding. He also really took the time to get to know the couple over Skype, it felt very warm and personal.
And then we went in to hall, where we found that our side of the family had mixed seating, her side were separated from us by a curtain and then separated out, men and women.
Initially when the bride and groom came out to the dance floor it was not only separate dancing but once again, the men were behind the curtain. When my niece married the first dance was separate circles of men and women, but that quickly broke down. Here all the excitement was on the women’s side, the men didn’t dance much. Later it was pretty much the groom’s side that danced the ‘regular’ secular dances.
At one point a Rabbi who is part of the Mexican community gave a Torah sermon, not something we usually see at weddings. I’m happy to say I understood the Spanish quite well, he then repeated it in Hebrew. It was tying the week’s Torah Portion to the concept of marriage. What was interesting was that the portion was all about the sacrifices one brings to the Temple – so utterly different from what Sophia’s ancestors from long ago were doing in Mexico, where not only was animal sacrifice par for the corse, but so was human. One of those things that struck me as miraculous, from the journey from jungle, through modern Mexico to Jerusalem.
And at the end of the evening, the very proud parents of the groom. Another kid married off! A job very very well done.
Fascinating! Happy Passover, Leah.